I have noticed something that has changed for me over the years…I rarely cry any more.
I am taking this is a good sign, as it means I am not feeling sad, but it seems I am somewhat of a rarity as many other women I know cry at the drop of a hat…even when they are happy!
At the funeral we went to last month, I was surrounded by people united in their grief…my heart ached as we said goodbye to a young life taken far too soon.
I thought it would be the same as it usually is for me, so very sad but no tears…until the end, when the hearse drove out through a guard of honour …then it hit me….tears freely flowed as my husband held me…others did the same around us, hugging each other for comfort.
That night, I was home alone for a while, and I got to thinking that have I become so hardened to things that I can’t cry?
Or is it because of the tough years we went through has meant that tears don’t flow easily.
And is it possible to still feel deeply, without the tears?
I tend to now deal with issues methodically…give me the facts, and I will deal with it.
I don’t get emotional at weddings…I enjoy them, I celebrate with family and friends…but no tears.
And I like to laugh…a lot!
I also have a very left of centre sense of humour…strange things will amuse me, and I am easily amused!
My husband and I found that our way of dealing with tough situations was with good grace and humour…it got us though those dark hours.
I learned as things got tough that there was no use bursting into tears.
The medical staff often commented on how amazing our attitude was, and that this strength was what helped my husband get through the tough recovery after his transplant.
The saying “if what doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger” comes to mind.
Our life is good…our troubles are now in the past, and hopefully will stay there…our relationship is strong
I do know that tears do have a place, and I certainly don’t view them as a weakness, but it seems that they are not for me.
Are you emotional and freely cry…or are you more like me?
Interesting! I think I am the opposite. I never used to be a “crier” but now my emotions run very close to the surface. I went to the movies on Monday and cried about six times, that wouldn’t have happened a couple of years ago! Happy things get the tears going too!
However I seem to be able to talk about the traumatic events of the last year or so without crying – sometimes the people I am talking to are getting teary and I am dry-eyed!
I don’t think it’s a reflection of being hardened, I think our coping mechanisms change and our emotional capacity fluctuates.
Cassandra, you have been through hell and back over the last few years, so there is no surprise that your emotions are close to the surface. I find that I can talk about whole liver transplant experience with no problems, whereas others with similar stories get very emotional. It does make me wonder if I have become hardened to it, or whether because it is an experience that we lived and breathed, it is just part of our history now. Time passing can definitely change things! x
I used to be a huge crier and now, after going through something that caused oceans of tears, it feels like they are all dried up. Sometimes I yearn for the carthasis of a good cry!
Totally understand Robyna! It is interesting to see how things change over time, as do our perspectives! Experiences can really shape how we handle issues.